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someone noticed that my “cosmo sex tip” jokes aren’t cissexist and like, it really makes me think about how casual cissexism is such an imbedded thing that they were actually happy that I phrase them the way that I do. it sucks.
like, me using “your lover’s dick” instead of “his dick” wasn’t even that hard for me to do but yet thousands of - millions of - people flip their shit and whine about how they should have to change their language to make other people happy. people are weird, man.
i am one big ball of pain. i tried to catch up on tumblr for the past hour but i just can’t concentrate. sorry if i missed anything important. goodnight early, tumblr. nattering shenanigans tomorrow i think.
ps hello new followers. feel free to acquaint yourself with my faq or introduce yourselves in my inbox.
I have no interest in playing WoD if Yrel’s narrative isn’t changed, so my subscription to WoW may finally be at an end.
we have returned. lots of fun stuff happened and not so great stuff happened. x’s birthday dinner was ruined but sort of(?) salvaged.
more later. got some company to keep and keep an eye on two sickies thanks to a really ignorant (or something) chef who mixed up orders and did everything on one grill in spite of loud FISH ALLERGIES YO being repeated over and over
WE HAVE SO MANY COOL AQUARIUM PICS TO SHARE LATER THO.
Your bio says you're opposed to privilege (which is great obviously) but then calls you 'femme'? I know you're queer but not lesbian, that's an exclusively lesbian term is co-opting someone else's word and appropriative.
Uuuh… since when is “femme” a lesbian only term?
I know many genderqueer people who identify as femme and use gender neutral pronouns.
I know many men who identify as femme- cis and trans* men alike (and “Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots?" really speaks to femmephobia amongst gay men and how that’s a form of misogyny).
I know many people other than myself for whom femme is a gender that feels comfortable and right, unlike “female”.
"Femme is a term used by many feminine-identified queer people—including lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, genderqueer, and other queer folks of any gender—though not all feminine-presenting queer people self-identify as femme.
Femmes come from diverse and equally valuable backgrounds, and we all experience gender and sexuality in different ways—and each of us has our own definition of what it means to be a femme. Even as I use the word “we,” I recognize that I cannot speak for all femmes.”
Pretty much sums it up.
To insist that “femme” can only be used by lesbians is to increase femme invisibility, and… no. I refuse that. Nope.
(edited to add: NEVER MIND how many lesbian communities are transphobic! My femme absolutely embraces trans* women who feel femme. Nope nope nope. The more i think about this the more I nope.)
(also: the Femme Conference defines femme thusly:
"The 2014 Steering Committee defines Femme as being an intimate, personal connection with femininity. It is queer and often deliberate. Femme is purposeful, tender, fierce, subversive and belongs to *anyone* touched by it. It informs and is informed by our other identities – including but not limited to race, body size, shape, gender, sexuality, ability, age, class, or community. This can connect into other areas of our life – like our relationships, art, activism, day-to-day presentation, and beyond. But perhaps the best thing about femme is that it’s open-ended, alchemic, and creative – a creative force that gives us great power to draw upon while living in an often painfully racist, cissexist, femmephobic world. For some femme is intentional, for others it’s an accident, and sometimes it’s who we were right from the beginning. The point is – if “femme” resonates with you in any way, as a word, for whatever reason right now, then it is yours. It is all of ours. Femme is who we are in our hearts."
That doesn’t sound like “lesbians only”. I know there’s scholars who think it should be… but we used to think women shouldn’t be educated either. Evolution is ongoing.)
All of this.
ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!
I will be out and about today celebrating X’s birthday with X and Chase until late evening—we are going to visit the aquarium nearby, get a cruise ride on a boat to go see stuff in the bay, and then go eat at Kobe’s.
See ya’ll tonight!
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